Month: January 2020

I am not dating anyone right now, and that’s fine. But what I do miss about dating is this triple pleasure experience that I call the Triple Whammy. It’s kind of hard to do it to yourself — a partner really is necessary for this one because, alas, we only have two hands.

Anyhow, this is something that a girlfriend first did to me. But when I date guys I show them also. I, like many women, do not have vaginal orgasms during intercourse. Yes, I can use my hand, but guys are always like “Did I make you cum, did I make you cum,” like it’s some test of their manhood.

“Look,” I will say to them, “If you are serious about my orgasm, and not just as some proof of your own masculinity, I will show you how to make a woman cum like she’s never cum before. Are you interested?”

They always say they are. But some men really all talk and they don’t really give a shit about helping you have an intense orgasm if there’s nothing in it for them. But of course, there is something in it for them. It can be a real turn-on for men if they can get over the idea that they have to be orgasming too in order to have fun.

The Triple Stimulation Method

1. On the clitoris.

I use a suction vibrator on my self. But that’s because I am used to the powerful mega-orgasm of the triple method and I can handle it. When I first started I used a regular bullet vibrator on my clit, because it was too overwhelming to have one of these suction vibrators stimulating me so powerfully while I was also being stimulated in two other areas, as we will see.

If you think you can handle it, by all means, start out with a suction vibrator. If not, use the regular. The main thing I guess is that you have to be OK with using a vibrator on yourself with a partner present. Especially if it is a guy, some women are not comfortable with this.

Get comfortable with it.

It’s worth it, really. I have tried the triple method just using my hand on the clit, and it’s not the same mind-blowing orgasm that puts you in another dimension.

2. G-spot stimulation.

While I am using the vibrator on my clit, I like my partner to just insert two fingers into my vagina and press upward, exerting steady pressure on the g-spot. I don’t like him or her to “fuck” my vagina with their fingers — it’s not necessary. They can just press on the g-spot, curl the fingers back and forth, or move them side to side, but there’s no point in penetrating any further because then the fingers will move past the g-spot.

I have also had my partner use a g-spot stimulating vibrator for this part of the triple whammy. I found this to be too much, but you might enjoy it, especially if your partner is a guy who isn’t too swift about finding your g-spot — this might be the way to go. These g-spot vibrators are bent up so that you really can’t miss the g-spot when you stick it in — even a dummy can do it!

3. A skinny vibrator or dildo up the butt.

It really doesn’t have to vibrate. The point is to penetrate the butt as the other two places are being pleasured so that you really go over the edge into that realm of “hyper-stimulation.”

This one I do think it’s better to push it slowly in and slowly out. It’s all about the sensation of the vibrator entering the sphincter. If you just hold the dildo in your ass, the sphincter sensations will dissipate. Slowly fuck the ass, deeper and deeper, until you get the slim vibrator all the way in.

When I orgasm in this method, my sphincter does spasms like crazy on the dildo or vibrator. It’s so wonderful.

Of course, a little bit of lube will help, but if you’re like me, your pussy will be positively dripping from the first two stimulations, so that your partner can just use some of that to pave the way for the anal.

Also, your partner can use a finger, or two. But that’s kind of tough to get right. I think the best size for this would be one and a half-fingers, which of course nobody has. There are vibrators that are just this size — not too big, not too small.

So if you do the Goldilocks test and you find just the right vibrator for your butt, you can give this to your partner and not worry about them hurting you or not being able to feel them.

It’s helpful to have a pillow under your butt to give your partner access but it is not necessary. I have done it flat on the sheets.

4. Make it a quadruple whammy.

As my three areas are being pleasured, I take the hand that is not using the vibrator and I caress and pinch my nipples with it. I find this increases the fireworks. I always do that when I masturbate anyway, but it’s even more intense during the Triple Whammy. The brain is already so overwhelmed trying to locate these three points of stimulus that when you add a forth it sends you to the next level of transcendence. I have a fantasy of having two more people present — women, preferably — one who is sucking my toes and the other who is kissing and breathing in my ears. I think this might actually kill me — my furnace might explode and I would spontaneously combust.

What is it Like?

Well, hopefully, you will find out for yourself. But this has been my experience. The first intense orgasm comes fairly quickly after all three spots are engaged. A couple of pokes up the butt and I am really ready to cum. As the vibrator brings my clit to the clitoral orgasm, and the g-spot stimulator adds that to the mix, the pressure in the butt sends this intense orgasm so far over the edge you will not believe it at first.

A long, deep, deep, explosion of pleasure will flood your brain, and you might feel like you’ve left this reality — I did the first time. The depth of the orgasm was crater-sized — and I totally fell in, head over heels, losing track of time and space and just sort of blessing.

Keep going.

The next orgasm will be twice as powerful. And the third will be four times as powerful. You should have the music up really loud because by the fourth orgasm I guarantee you will be screaming your head off and you don’t want the police showing up at your house — that will totally ruin your Triple Whammy.

Reciprocating

What do you give to the person who just showed you the face of God? If it’s a guy, I usually show my thanks by giving him a good blowjob to climax. After all, I don’t need to be fucked any more — I’ve just been fucked to high heaven. I think this is a good time to do some prostate stimulation during the blow job, with a prostate-stimulating dildo or just your finger. He will be more open to this sometimes confronting but always pleasurable experience having just been so up your butt.

If it’s a girl, simple, I give her the Triple Whammy in return. And then we both sleep for about fifteen hours — the sleep of the just!

Conclusion

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Sex is weird. It’s one of those rare topics where we all know exactly what we want, but very few are willing to say it. Generally speaking, one person is walking away displeased and annoyed (insert woman here). While the other feels like everything was great (insert man here). So I’m here to represent all the women in stating how to rock her world in bed:

1. We don’t like your “moves”

We know you think you’re the king of PornHub, but your moves are played out more than a top 5 billboard hit. Why are you the person making all the decisions on what we do and how we do it?

Meanwhile, you awkwardly flip us to positions that do nothing for us. The silence is not enjoyment. The fake sounds are simply being polite, you know, we do have manners. It’s equally as embarrassing for us to have to offend your manhood.

All the while we are now counting, “ One Mississippi, Two Mississippi” in our heads as we wait in eager anticipation for the end. We should all have an equal say in what we want here. The moral is, ask what we like, let us have an equal say in the play by play if you will. You might even learn a thing or two.. oops.

2. Kissing matters. (You might want to learn how to do that)

We’ve all been in an awkward kissing situation. One person is inserting a tongue while moving it to the tune of the alphabet. The other person is more or less “nibbling”, I’ll call it. No one is on the same page, especially the alphabet boy. I know you learned the “alphabet tongue mouth dance” from a Boy Meets World episode or maybe even Cheers per your generation- but stop. Just stop. Mutuality in kissing matters too. A bad kiss is a sign of more bad physical interactions to come.

3. Hey, douche, go to the gym

We wouldn’t mind if you went to the gym too. I am a “guys girl” and worked with mostly men for most of my career. I get the scoop. Most men have a request list for women that is a mile long. The request list goes something like: 90 % physical attribute request, and 10% of anything that should matter. That’s cool. I get it hot girls are hot. But let’s be real: are YOU worthy of the hot girl? Dude, are you even hot? I hear you critiquing her body, “She’s too wide”, “She’s too big”, “She’s too flat”…and on we go. Excuse me, sir, have you looked in the mirror lately? When is the last time your fat ass made it to the gym? A little stamina in the bedroom wouldn’t kill you either.

4. Don’t overcompensate for your package

Your package. Where should I begin? The most relevant point here has to be there is no need to exaggerate in this department. I can’t tell you the numerous times I’ve heard stories about a guy bragging until the end. Sir, in about .5 seconds we’re going to see there is no “anaconda” under those boxers. Now is the time to hope you’ve done everything else right so this matters less. The way you guys lie about your package is the same crime as women with the extra padded bra. No one leaves happy.

7. Foreplay isn’t only in the bedroom

Men why are you always ready to go right in for the kill? Why is your only skill relegated to “inserting”? Not cool fellas. Not cool at all. Foreplay does not have to be only the interactions that take place right before the “insert”. If you can master touch you may have mastered everything. There is little better than being at a table, sitting across from someone that can arouse you better than you’ve been aroused in bed.. right there in public. While you might not be able to rip our clothes off right then and there you can almost guarantee something steamy later.

8. Have sex with our minds first. Please and thank you

The best sex you’ve ever had wasn’t something that quickly happened at the moment. It did not start and end and that was that. The best sex of our lives always begins when the minds meet and find themselves pleasing each other first. By this, I mean, we don’t want to be treated like meat. We want more and the more makes the sex more fulfilling in all aspects. Find out how our day was. Find out what we like. Then show us you were listening. A good recall is an easy score. A happy woman makes a happy bedroom experience for you, and us!

9. Dance and sex are pretty similar

We aren’t looking for boy band choreographed moves. However, please learn a basic two-step to the beat of a standard song in your girl’s favorite genre. When the beat hits and you should’ve moved to the left, but find yourself on an uptick to the right. Sir, that is not a good place to be. A basic to step is on your most immediate to-do list. Bad dancing only foreshadows other bad moves to come.

10. Hey, fellas, it’s not all about you

It’s not all about your need to get laid. It’s not all about your latest fantasy. It’s about us too.

Conclusion

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I don’t want to admit it, but there was a time in my life when I hated giving guys handjobs.

In the beginning, when I was first exploring penises with my hands and mouth, I much preferred using my mouth over my hands.

It seemed easier and less awkward to me somehow — maybe because it was so easy to see and hear how I was pleasing someone with my mouth.

Maybe because I felt pressure to jerk off a guy the way he wants to be jerked off and not having a clue how to do it because I didn’t have my own penis to experiment with.

I don’t know, all I know is that for a long time I didn’t want to give out handjobs without being asked to do it, and it made me feel bad for neglecting to offer up a sexual act that I knew so many men enjoyed so much.

So, I bucked up and got to jerking guys off, and this is what I’ve learned over the years when it comes to giving a great handjob:

Just use lube.

For a truly great handjob, using lube is a must.

I’m not a huge fan of using lube for sex because I’m a pretty wet girl to begin with, but when you’re going to be rubbing your hand all up and down a man’s shaft and head, you don’t want to use so much friction it bothers them.

Using lube lets your hands slide up, down, over and around your partner’s penis with little to no resistance, and it’s up to you to put on the pressure in your strokes.

Use two hands.

You don’t want to be sitting next to your partner jerking him off one-handed when there are so many things you could be doing with your other hand.

Sure, that’s one way to do it, but we’re talking about giving mind blowing handjobs here, so you’re going to have to put in a little more work and enthusiasm.

While one hand jerks his shaft up and down, the other could be gently playing with his balls, tickling his perineum, stroking the frenulum at the underside of his head, or gently sliding a finger over and around the opening of his penis.

Or, you could put both hands around the shaft and twist up and down but in opposite directions with each hand — your partner won’t know how many hands he has on him at that point!

Change it up.

Don’t do the same motion over and over again for the length of the handjob, no matter how much he may seem into it, you can probably make it better by occasionally switching things up.

Change the speed and direction of the strokes you are giving, and the pressure that you’re putting on his shaft.

Also, don’t think that a handjob JUST has to involve your hands.

Bringing your mouth into the equation will only heighten everything that you’ve started, your mouth on the tip of his cock while you’re jerking him up and down would be a much welcome sensation.

Ask him what he wants.

In the end, no amount of experimentation can make up for just asking what your partner likes and wants in a handjob, and there’s no shame in asking him to show you how to do it so that you can give him maximum pleasure.

A simple “Do you like this?” whispered during the act could open up the doors to him communicating everything he wants if you keep on experimenting and asking — and he’s not going to mind you experimenting.

If you’re feeling particularly bold or if you’re in a very comfortable relationship, you could ask him to masturbate in front of you so you really know how he likes being jerked off, and that could lead to a hot mutual masturbation session that goes far beyond just a handjob.

Just like with most things in the world of sex, things always get better with lots of experimentation and practice.

You CAN get comfortable and even enjoy giving handjobs if you try out the steps above and remember that handjobs are supposed to be fun, not work.

Take your partner’s lead if you need to, but don’t give up on thinking handjobs aren’t your thing just yet.

Sometimes you’ll be surprised at the pleasure you get at pleasing your partner.

Conclusion

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There are two basic categories of talk dirty — one, before the bedroom, to enhance the anticipation of the sex, and two, in the bedroom, to pump up the volume during coitus. Let’s deal with category one first, which can include texting and other forms of communication.

Tongue in cheek

I like a man who sends me a text at work saying something like, “What time are you getting off because I can’t wait for you to come?”

That is just laced with all kinds of profanity and yet if my boss saw it, it’s entirely G rated.

It’s nice when you’re at a party and your boyfriend whispers into your ear, “Are you ready to go soon? As you can see, I am.”

It’s nice for him to have a half erection pushing against his trousers when he says that. Fellas, if you don’t have a half erection, just grab a cucumber from the appetizer table and put it in your y-fronts.

Sexting

Say you’re both at a boring family gathering. Chinese New Year is coming up. You might find yourselves stuck at some family get together watching boring sitcoms or entertaining your relatives. Wouldn’t it be great to get a sext from across the room: “You look yummy, can’t wait to fuck you later.” You can reply, “I know that dinner was delicious, but save room. You’re going to be eating me later.”

It’s also super fun to send a picture of yourself topless with your nipples erected to him at the office, with the caption, “You bring out the worst in me.”

In the bedroom

I don’t know if all women are this way, but I really like to be praised as my lover undresses me. If you say to me, “You have the firmest tits,” or, “Oh my gosh the taste of your pussy, it’s like heaven,” I’m basically yours forever. I know, it’s so dumb. You could be lying, after all, but that never seems to occur to me — oh, vanity!

Then when he’s in me, I really like hearing, “Oh, god, I love fucking you so much.”

It just really relaxes, me, you know. Performance anxiety is not just for men, it must be said. Sure, women don’t have to achieve and maintain an erection, but we have doubts about our “action” just like men do. So when a guy tells me how nice it is to have sex with me, I relax and get into this zone where I’m not self-conscious anymore. And it’s all the result of opening your mouth.

Sure, I like the strong silent type. I do like a strong male. But when a man uses his mouth in this way, communicating the arousal, I do get twice as aroused. Don’t keep it to yourself boys!

You don’t have to be nasty

There are times when I do get nasty while having sex. “Oh yeah, fuck me, big boy, put that dick in me,” etc. I think guys like that.

But I have found success with more original, less pornographic exclamations. However, if you are inclined toward figurative language, you might find metaphor, simile and personification are brilliant devices for the bedroom.

Personifying the penis is something guys love because they often have nicknames for the little fella themselves, and treat the appendage like it’s some sort of pet.

“Hello, there, big fella,” I like to say to the penis, as I go down on a guy. “How’s your day been? Looks like you could use a little kiss. Maybe a little back rub? Does that feel good? Oh, what have we here, a couple of basketballs? Have you been shooting hoops? Mind if I play? I like to dribble.”

But being nasty is fine too

I know, we’re not all Nobel Prize-winning scientists, poets or piledrivers. Some of us need to be more direct in our sexy talk, and that’s absolutely wonderful too.

“Fuck me harder!” is a tried and true winner. As is “Put that big thing in me!”

Should you call her a whore?

Guys, you have to feel this out with your women, but half of them love being called “nasty slut” as they’re being banged. Be careful though, the other half hate it and there’s absolutely no way to tell which is which. The sweetest-seeming good girls, it turns out, sometimes really dig it. And the ho-iest looking skanks just get all righteous and angry, so good luck.

Keep this in mind when doing the dirty talk. It might not seem like we’re in a real free speech era, what with cancel culture and call-outs and cry-bullying and everybody’s outrage. But between two consenting adults, communication is part of the sexy. And if you do cross a line verbally you can always push rewind by saying sorry. As long as you’re not being secretly recorded you should be fine.

The mouth is a beautiful thing!

Conclusion

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Blow job are a controversial topic, usually discussed in hushed whispers. Anything that isn’t discussed openly has a lot of misconceptions attached to it since everyone is passing on information that they’ve heard, probably from an unreliable source.

The internet can be an overwhelming place, throwing so much information at you that you don’t really know what to do with it all. So we’re here to help bust some myths you might believe about blow jobs so you can make the world a sex-friendly place!

1. You should swallow even if you’re not a fan

Unlike green smoothies, semen is not some nutrient-rich elixir. When you treat someone to a mouth-induced orgasm, they don’t get to judge what you do after the fact. Spit, swallow, move out of the way so it doesn’t get in your hair, whatever. As long as you’re not like, “Ew, this is disgusting, you’re a beast,” there shouldn’t be any complaints.

2. All men are obsessed with blowjobs

There are so many reasons a guy may not be up for a blow job. Just like some women love receiving oral sex and others prefer different forms of clitoral entertainment, he might be into a different kind of foreplay. Or he could be saving you from encountering his sweaty post-workout package. Or maybe he wants to talk about his feelings instead of having sex. Point is, it doesn’t automatically mean he doesn’t like you or thinks your blow jobs are awful.

3. Deep throating is the key to an excellent BJ

If you can deep throat without issue, go for it. It’s an awesome skill that you unfortunately can’t list on your resume, so use it when you can. But you can also give a stellar blow job without the head of a penis provoking your gag reflex.

4. There’s basically only one blow job position

Actually, there’s a whole wide world of oral sex positions out there beyond you kneeling in front of him. You can try 69, lying next to him, your head hanging off the bed, lying down while he kneels on top of you, and so much more.

5. A blow job isn’t “real sex.”

For some women, getting face-to-face with a penis is more intimate than having PIV sex. And even if you’re not one of them, you can definitely still get sexually transmitted infections from giving a blow job because you’re exchanging bodily fluids (and you can also get STIs like herpes and HPV from skin-to-skin contact).

6. It’s normal for guys to push your head down

Great if it turns you on. But if it makes you feel weird, ask him to stop. Blow jobs should be good for both people, not just the one receiving them.

7. If your teeth touch his penis, it’ll fall off

The world won’t end because you experience a little teeth-penis contact. As long as you’re not scraping them up and down his shaft throughout, it’s probably not an issue. Depending on the guy, he might even like it! But definitely ask before doing it intentionally.

8. You always have to perform a blow job to completion

You could. Or you could trade off, so he goes down on you for a bit, then you continue giving him a blow job after. Or you could stop before he comes and have sex until he orgasms. Or you could break up intercourse with some bouts of oral sex. The end goal doesn’t always have to be orgasm.

9. Your mouth can always provide enough spit to make the act enjoyable

Cotton mouth happens. Luckily, flavored lube exists! Just be sure to use a type that’s compatible with condoms if they’re a part of your sex routine, and also check that it’s safe for intercourse if you plan on doing that after.

10. If your BJ skills are up to par, it should be over in a few minutes

So many factors can influence how much time it takes a guy to orgasm: when he most recently came, what he’s thinking about, whether he’s holding out because he wants it to last longer…

11. You need blow-job sorcery for uncircumcised penises

An uncircumcised penis is still sheathed in its foreskin, which covers the head. A circumcised penis no longer has a foreskin, so the head is exposed. That’s the only difference—they’re both still penises, and guys still like it when you touch them.

Yes, the two types sometimes require different kinds of stimulation, since uncircumcised penises often have more sensitive heads and there’s more skin to play with. But if you’re used to one kind of penis and encounter another, don’t freak out. Just ask the guy what he likes! You have his penis in your hands. He probably won’t mind if you ask exactly how he’d prefer for you to handle it.

12. If you give your mouth a break, you have to start from the beginning

If he’s right on the brink of orgasm and you call a time out, yes, you’ll probably have to put in some extra work to get him back to the point of no return. But if you feel like your jaw’s seizing up, give it a rest. You can use your hands to keep the good feelings going.

13. You have to love giving blow jobs in order to be sexy

You know that whole idea of how nothing’s hotter than a woman who loves giving blow jobs so much, she can practically orgasm from them? False. Enthusiasm is always attractive, but you don’t have to worship at the blow job altar to be attractive yourself.

Conclusion

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